Comedian / musician / author Dave Hill has been tweeting some erotic short stories. They’re pretty gross, which means they’re pretty great.

Erotic short story #55: “Does this look infected?” the guy said to the hot lady doctor while whipping it out. “Not yet,” she said.

— Dave Hill (@mrdavehill) December 6, 2012

Erotic short story #52: “A bomb!” this hot chick screamed. Then this guy diffused that shit and it was game on. They did it like nine times.

— Dave Hill (@mrdavehill) December 6, 2012

Erotic short story #46: This guy thought he was living alone on a desert island but turns out this chick lived there too. He fingered her.

— Dave Hill (@mrdavehill) December 6, 2012