November 10th, 2009
John Mayer saves drunk idiot in Boston:
John Mayer saves drunk idiot in Boston:
This month I’m donating a banner ad (see above) to Movember - described as “an annual, month-long celebration of the moustache, highlighting men’s health issues - specifically prostate and testicular cancer.” Check out the site, register as a fundraiser, and spend a month growing a mustache - that is, if you have the balls.
If you combine Radiohead’s “Motion Picture Soundtrack” with the Black Eyed Peas’ “I Got A Feeling”, you get either copyright infringement or a pleasant coincidence. I’m just sayin…
Roughly $2K worth of wine bling:
Pretty cool comic book generator from Marvel, even though it’s for kids.

After seeing this post at kottke.org I made this quick and dirty mockup below. The takeaway: it’s a tall fucking building.

Long Island City is so hot right now.
Photos from a weekend in the Catskills, with a jaunt to the 123rd Delaware County Fair in Walton, NY.
This is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. Starting at 40 seconds in, every sentence he says is comedic gold.
Let’s take a tour of what it might look like to peer through some of the world’s most powerful and expensive camera lenses, shall we?
To set a baseline, here’s a photo of Long Island City’s Citibank building taken with a regular ‘ol Canon 17-40mm zoom lens at 22mm. You can see the full photo on the top left, and a 100%, 1:1 zoom in the center of the screen. Click it to view it at actual size. Go on, click it.
22mm lens:
And here’s a shot with my most powerful zoom lens - a Canon 70-200mm 2.8L.
200mm lens:
Now the fun begins. Let’s see how much closer we can get by shooting through a 20-60x Nikon spotting scope.
40mm lens + spotting scope @ 20x (~800mm lens):
The photo above is pretty much as close as you’d get with an 800mm lens (although, obviously, the 800mm lens would have better image quality and the edges wouldn’t be completely darkened). Canon makes an 800mm lens and you can pick one up for a cool $11,000 at Adorama.
So let’s move on to 1200mm territory.
40mm lens + spotting scope @ 30x (~1200mm lens):
If you wanted to take the above photo without the black edges and degraded image quality, you could pick up Canon’s 1200mm, $120,000 lens from B&H. It’s the largest lens Canon makes and you can read more about it here.
Let’s get closer…
40mm lens + spotting scope @ 42.5x (~1700mm lens):
The photo above approximates the focal length of the world’s largest telephoto lens, made by Carl Zeiss. Badass.
100mm lens + spotting scope @ 20x (~2000mm lens):
Now we’re at 2000mm. Nikon made a 2000mm lens using mirrors a while back.
200mm lens + spotting scope @ 20x (~4000mm lens):
Somewhere between these two focal lengths is Canon’s insane 5200mm lens. You can read more about it here, here, and here.
100mm lens + spotting scope @ 60x (~6000mm lens):
To get any closer, someone once took Canon’s 1200mm lens and paired it with a 7.2x crop factor video camera to create a 8640mm focal length.
200mm lens + spotting scope @ 60x (~12000mm lens):
And there you have it - an example of how close you’d get with a 12000mm lens. Judging from the focal-length-to-price ratio of Canon’s 1200mm lens, getting a crystal clear full-frame shot of the Citibank building this close would run you $1,200,000. And that’s all I have to say about that.
I snapped this out of the back window of Snooth’s new offices in midtown. I highly recommend checking out the full resolution version.

In related news, our proximity to the Empire State Building is what made our (former) insurance company refuse to insure us. If you ask me, it sounds like the terrorists won.


Die, baboon.
~SebIs it fling poo; then shoot? Or shoot; then fling poo? I can’t remember….
~AnthonyNo one makes fun of my yellow banana suit.
~DaveyBridgesWHO.. TOUCHED .. MY.. HAT!
~jaug1337Yipee Ki Yay Mother Fucker
~ShamwowticusWell, the new weapon works, but with one small unfortunate side effect…
~LenBet those bastard zoo keepers will get a pretty nice surprise when they see this.
~JACMy FBI-colleagues had right.
I’m looking like a monkey in this banana suit.
Yo! Respect, man!
~kdavisonMen in Grey/Black rulez
~LuckyYou think the yellow suit is too much?
~RoxanaThe Kansas School Board sleeps with the fishes.
~JeffNext time someone comes over with a new hairdo, I’ll be prepared for police presence.
~Liz is a WHORE.something must be wrong here… hmm
~a loserNow I’m The King of The Swingers ooooo The Jungle V.I.P…
~Himi should have done this instead of running for president twice…
~gwbThat’s weird… shooting on the left… smoke coming out on the right.
~NielsThis is why I have opposable thumbs, motherfucker!
~WilliamLeft hand: loaded, right hand: cocked.
~Williami missed… i aimed for the arm but unfortunatly for him… it must have curved and hit him in the head.
~AndrewMonkey Business
~AnonymousMy name is Bonzo; James Bonzo
~silexmtEvolve OR Die
~KKYou Can’t Handle the Truth!
~KKAh! What’s the Point!
~KK“My name is Banana … Monkey Banana” … and now i need a bananasplitt!
~Romeo1989Damn…I forgot what I wanted to say???
~gamerpatefghvb vbhfghf
~Anonymousyo! who took my banana ???
~sisi missed… i aimed for the arm but unfortunatly for him… it must have curved and hit him in the head.
~PBGuess you didn’t see that coming…
~ninoI said I don’t like fucking bananas
~AnonymousA banana yellow suit….. Brilliant!
~scott DAnd they said I was too old for another Dirty Harry movie!
~John CocktoastenWhat does Marcellus Wallace look like?
~Blake“Unfinished business”
~AnonymousTime to kill my mother for dressing me like this for too many years…
~Christian KraghMonkey face…? Who’s got monkey face, puta?
~Grekus Pekus“Evolution…” Charles Darvin
~Michael Jackson LilboyloverWhat would say my mom and dad….
~KiloLike a girl in a car…!!!
~Grekfuck my mozg!!!
~crackTrusting men in suits?
~NoahSanwow this micheal jackson mask fits so well!
~kizzDo my ears look big in this suit?
~KierenDid I leave the iron on?
~garythis is driving me bananas
~luizinhoEverybody be cool, this is a robbery! Any of you fucking pricks move, and I’ll execute every motherfucking last one of you!
~samuelHuman think this suite would be funny. I can´t take this anymore..
~Anonymousthis is a weird banana
~meSay ‘what’ again. Say what one more motherfuckin time
~James…when I lay my vengeance upon thee!
~AnonymousTarzan can KISS MY ASS!
~George DelGiornoLuigi, one turns not against family!
~rstI think it’s time for another Revolution!
~BasselI’m looking for my cousin George and the guy who stole my fucking HAT!
~rljackDont laught cause my yellow dress, bitch
~dannyI know MJ was a man of peace, but when I catch the fucker that killed him, I will blast him with my kind of piece.
~swildermannMmmmmmah, you dirty rat!
~fuzzyVernita Green , Oren-Ishii , Elle Driver , Budd : clear . Now Bill it’s your turn !
~The TowellI’ve had it with these motherf–king snakes on this motherf–king plane!
~SamuelDid he shoot five or six bullits? Errr… do I feel lucky? Does this yellow suit really makes me look like a punk?
~V!NCENTwhat the fuck is that?????
~tknow call me mr. Barack Obama
~nigthe time has come…
~AnonymousOhh My Goddness why I’m here
~LeavaHasta la Vista…baboon?
~EricHello? Is this thing on?
~koomakHello? Is this thing on?
BANG!
Die motherfucker
~americanI don’t always do impersonations, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis.
So now Google thinks I’m a malicious website and is blocking some visitors. I may be guilty of posting unfunny things and letting the site languish for weeks on end, but I’m no spammer or spyware hosting-person. Anywho, I’m taking steps to resolve this. Thanks for your support, my minions…
Proof positive why I should start carrying my Flip video camera around more often. I have no idea who this guy is, but Susan Boyle should be trembling in her big fat shoes. Brief cameo and camerawork by the one and only Todd Suchotliff. He’s my savior. He’s your savior.
Check out my design for the first ever Snooth Cycling Jersey. If you work for a winery or wine merchant, speak up on the Snooth Forums and we just might include your logo for free.
Photoshop jockeys might appreciate how I simulated the stretching fabric on the back. All I needed was an iPhone, a t-shirt, a bottle of wine, and a dream. Which is coincidentally how most of my weekends begin.

bling bling bitches
06.03.09 at 12:49 pm
This photo op is going to come back to haunt me when some neocon douchebag tries to swift boat me in 2012.
06.03.09 at 12:54 pm
Maxi King allright
06.03.09 at 1:56 pm
What? Never seen a boy wearing a necklace? Dem, you should see my bra! Freaky boys, those journalists!
06.03.09 at 3:38 pm
What? Never seen a boy wearing a necklace? Freaky journalists! You should see my bra!
06.03.09 at 3:44 pm
Let me see.. Good medal, good medal - My medal, my medal..
06.03.09 at 4:35 pm
You ain’t gettin this back. You do know that right?
06.03.09 at 4:48 pm
Can’t fell my CROWN!?
06.03.09 at 6:36 pm
Now this is more like it
06.03.09 at 11:50 pm
I pity da fool!
06.04.09 at 5:02 pm
You feel relax… you fell your eyes getting heavy… yeeees, relax…. you feel sleepy… are you asleep now? good… now, when I snap my fingers, you will get your pen, and you will sign this treaty surrendering all your oil reserves…
06.04.09 at 6:43 pm
all i need is 7 more and i’ll be as cool as michael phelps
06.04.09 at 11:42 pm
They just told me to go with the flow…
06.05.09 at 3:20 am
Damn it, I knew this was going to be on the caption contest blog!
06.05.09 at 3:21 am
My homies back there have no style, -right biatches?-
06.06.09 at 11:42 am
For Saddam we only had a rope, but i kinda like this one…
06.09.09 at 4:29 pm
I wana be a girl, just for a day…
06.12.09 at 3:07 am
Holy shit, i’ve already told u that this flower have nothing similar with democratic tradions. So, throw it away fucking Ahmed!
06.13.09 at 12:21 pm
Voldemort, Germiona and Dumbledore!!! Flower Bush stand up and go!
06.13.09 at 12:26 pm
I hereby declare myself the savior of mankind and promise to unify this planet under one world goverment !
06.14.09 at 4:38 pm
Now gimme your wallet.
06.30.09 at 9:23 am
So this is your new 24K Semtex suicide bomber exploding necklace.
06.30.09 at 1:41 pm
look, there is a fly! someone kill the fly.
07.06.09 at 10:59 am
Do Do Do I’m much richer than youuuu
07.10.09 at 10:34 am
a bit like 50, isn’t it??
07.15.09 at 6:11 am
Now, about them 99 virgin girls… you sure about that?
07.26.09 at 10:16 am
…and the Dr. told my mother to push…
…and my head came out like this…
07.26.09 at 8:18 pm
YES, I COULD!!
07.27.09 at 7:40 am
Thanks but it is not gold
08.04.09 at 2:39 am
So when I give you this, you give me oil at 5 billion barrels for each gram of gold.
08.05.09 at 8:44 am
I better put this shit on right now, Mr Smiley in the yellow tie is looking too hard at it with a smile on his face.
08.05.09 at 8:46 am
“I’mma sell this ish when I go back to the ghetto after my peresidency ez ovah!
08.06.09 at 6:57 pm
who the fuck is Angela Merkel ???
08.08.09 at 4:26 am
first place in stupidity
08.14.09 at 10:17 am
I always dreamt to look like Public Enemy , thank you !
08.23.09 at 5:15 pm
Now look at this gold muthafucka right here
08.29.09 at 1:38 pm
this medal is MINE! it’s pure gold.
08.30.09 at 4:24 pm
Well. Thank you…for…understanding my culture…
09.03.09 at 11:44 pm
I’mma sell this for bananas to feed my monkey-ass family.
09.11.09 at 2:52 pm
Shuuu Habibi
09.15.09 at 10:26 am
I am the Prince of Zamunda
09.24.09 at 5:12 pm
I’ll need a few more for the kids.
10.01.09 at 11:30 pm
I gotta feeling
10.06.09 at 8:07 am
america youre next
10.16.09 at 4:30 pm
yeah bitches I`m so much better as Mr.T!!!
10.16.09 at 11:33 pm
Yess, my own, my preciousss…
10.21.09 at 4:27 am
where the fuck is my hat?
10.28.09 at 12:58 pm
You sure this is the same shit Hitler wore? cause he da man yo!
11.04.09 at 7:43 pm
Yo Bitch let us fuck next Weekend for this bling bling
!!!I’m your Dream in Jeans!!!
11.05.09 at 5:56 pm