February 4th, 2010
This is my cross-to-bear:
January 31st, 2010
The Cleverest Responses (40)
Leave a Reply - English Only, Please
November 10th, 2009
John Mayer saves drunk idiot in Boston:
November 1st, 2009
This month I’m donating a banner ad (see above) to Movember - described as “an annual, month-long celebration of the moustache, highlighting men’s health issues - specifically prostate and testicular cancer.” Check out the site, register as a fundraiser, and spend a month growing a mustache - that is, if you have the balls.
October 29th, 2009
If you combine Radiohead’s “Motion Picture Soundtrack” with the Black Eyed Peas’ “I Got A Feeling”, you get either copyright infringement or a pleasant coincidence. I’m just sayin…
October 27th, 2009
Roughly $2K worth of wine bling:
October 22nd, 2009
Pretty cool comic book generator from Marvel, even though it’s for kids.
October 17th, 2009
After seeing this post at kottke.org I made this quick and dirty mockup below. The takeaway: it’s a tall fucking building.
September 8th, 2009
Long Island City is so hot right now.
August 23rd, 2009
Photos from a weekend in the Catskills, with a jaunt to the 123rd Delaware County Fair in Walton, NY.
August 9th, 2009
This is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. Starting at 40 seconds in, every sentence he says is comedic gold.
June 13th, 2009
Let’s take a tour of what it might look like to peer through some of the world’s most powerful and expensive camera lenses, shall we?
To set a baseline, here’s a photo of Long Island City’s Citibank building taken with a regular ‘ol Canon 17-40mm zoom lens at 22mm. You can see the full photo on the top left, and a 100%, 1:1 zoom in the center of the screen. Click it to view it at actual size. Go on, click it.
22mm lens:
And here’s a shot with my most powerful zoom lens - a Canon 70-200mm 2.8L.
200mm lens:
Now the fun begins. Let’s see how much closer we can get by shooting through a 20-60x Nikon spotting scope.
40mm lens + spotting scope @ 20x (~800mm lens):
The photo above is pretty much as close as you’d get with an 800mm lens (although, obviously, the 800mm lens would have better image quality and the edges wouldn’t be completely darkened). Canon makes an 800mm lens and you can pick one up for a cool $11,000 at Adorama.
So let’s move on to 1200mm territory.
40mm lens + spotting scope @ 30x (~1200mm lens):
If you wanted to take the above photo without the black edges and degraded image quality, you could pick up Canon’s 1200mm, $120,000 lens from B&H. It’s the largest lens Canon makes and you can read more about it here.
Let’s get closer…
40mm lens + spotting scope @ 42.5x (~1700mm lens):
The photo above approximates the focal length of the world’s largest telephoto lens, made by Carl Zeiss. Badass.
100mm lens + spotting scope @ 20x (~2000mm lens):
Now we’re at 2000mm. Nikon made a 2000mm lens using mirrors a while back.
200mm lens + spotting scope @ 20x (~4000mm lens):
Somewhere between these two focal lengths is Canon’s insane 5200mm lens. You can read more about it here, here, and here.
100mm lens + spotting scope @ 60x (~6000mm lens):
To get any closer, someone once took Canon’s 1200mm lens and paired it with a 7.2x crop factor video camera to create a 8640mm focal length.
200mm lens + spotting scope @ 60x (~12000mm lens):
And there you have it - an example of how close you’d get with a 12000mm lens. Judging from the focal-length-to-price ratio of Canon’s 1200mm lens, getting a crystal clear full-frame shot of the Citibank building this close would run you $1,200,000. And that’s all I have to say about that.
June 5th, 2009
I snapped this out of the back window of Snooth’s new offices in midtown. I highly recommend checking out the full resolution version.
In related news, our proximity to the Empire State Building is what made our (former) insurance company refuse to insure us. If you ask me, it sounds like the terrorists won.
June 3rd, 2009
The Cleverest Responses (60)
-
bling bling bitches
~fartist
+108
06.03.09 at 12:49 pm -
This photo op is going to come back to haunt me when some neocon douchebag tries to swift boat me in 2012.
~Jeff --12
06.03.09 at 12:54 pm -
Maxi King allright
~Jerry +15
06.03.09 at 1:56 pm -
What? Never seen a boy wearing a necklace? Dem, you should see my bra! Freaky boys, those journalists!
~Niels --29
06.03.09 at 3:38 pm -
What? Never seen a boy wearing a necklace? Freaky journalists! You should see my bra!
~Niels --30
06.03.09 at 3:44 pm -
Let me see.. Good medal, good medal - My medal, my medal..
~Anonymous --22
06.03.09 at 4:35 pm -
You ain’t gettin this back. You do know that right?
~Ascarpi --18
06.03.09 at 4:48 pm -
Can’t fell my CROWN!?
~jaug1337 --17
06.03.09 at 6:36 pm -
Now this is more like it
~Blake --16
06.03.09 at 11:50 pm -
I pity da fool!
~Jeff --15
06.04.09 at 5:02 pm -
You feel relax… you fell your eyes getting heavy… yeeees, relax…. you feel sleepy… are you asleep now? good… now, when I snap my fingers, you will get your pen, and you will sign this treaty surrendering all your oil reserves…
~silexmt --6
06.04.09 at 6:43 pm -
all i need is 7 more and i’ll be as cool as michael phelps
~haha --7
06.04.09 at 11:42 pm -
They just told me to go with the flow…
~Christian Kragh --12
06.05.09 at 3:20 am -
Damn it, I knew this was going to be on the caption contest blog!
~Christian Kragh --14
06.05.09 at 3:21 am -
My homies back there have no style, -right biatches?-
~Synth3siS --11
06.06.09 at 11:42 am -
For Saddam we only had a rope, but i kinda like this one…
~Lev --10
06.09.09 at 4:29 pm -
I wana be a girl, just for a day…
~gigges --6
06.12.09 at 3:07 am -
Holy shit, i’ve already told u that this flower have nothing similar with democratic tradions. So, throw it away fucking Ahmed!
~Kilo --12
06.13.09 at 12:21 pm -
Voldemort, Germiona and Dumbledore!!! Flower Bush stand up and go!
~Michael Jackson Lilboylover --6
06.13.09 at 12:26 pm -
I hereby declare myself the savior of mankind and promise to unify this planet under one world goverment !
~Steve +44
06.14.09 at 4:38 pm -
Now gimme your wallet.
~gary +24
06.30.09 at 9:23 am -
So this is your new 24K Semtex suicide bomber exploding necklace.
~Ron +13
06.30.09 at 1:41 pm -
look, there is a fly! someone kill the fly.
~samuel +1
07.06.09 at 10:59 am -
Do Do Do I’m much richer than youuuu
~Max Gellweiler +6
07.10.09 at 10:34 am -
a bit like 50, isn’t it??
~Anonymous --3
07.15.09 at 6:11 am -
Now, about them 99 virgin girls… you sure about that?
~Anonymous +16
07.26.09 at 10:16 am -
…and the Dr. told my mother to push…
…and my head came out like this…~George DelGiorno +26
07.26.09 at 8:18 pm -
YES, I COULD!!
~rst +11
07.27.09 at 7:40 am -
Thanks but it is not gold
~Gkan +13
08.04.09 at 2:39 am -
So when I give you this, you give me oil at 5 billion barrels for each gram of gold.
~vkernahan +4
08.05.09 at 8:44 am -
I better put this shit on right now, Mr Smiley in the yellow tie is looking too hard at it with a smile on his face.
~vkernahan --2
08.05.09 at 8:46 am -
“I’mma sell this ish when I go back to the ghetto after my peresidency ez ovah!
~BushFan --1
08.06.09 at 6:57 pm -
who the fuck is Angela Merkel ???
~Anonymous +6
08.08.09 at 4:26 am -
first place in stupidity
~bill --4
08.14.09 at 10:17 am -
I always dreamt to look like Public Enemy , thank you !
~The Towell --4
08.23.09 at 5:15 pm -
Now look at this gold muthafucka right here
~V!NCENT --1
08.29.09 at 1:38 pm -
this medal is MINE! it’s pure gold.
~xDxDxD +2
08.30.09 at 4:24 pm -
Well. Thank you…for…understanding my culture…
~dude +12
09.03.09 at 11:44 pm -
I’mma sell this for bananas to feed my monkey-ass family.
~Anonymous --14
09.11.09 at 2:52 pm -
Shuuu Habibi
~Cabbo +2
09.15.09 at 10:26 am -
I am the Prince of Zamunda
~Anonymous +7
09.24.09 at 5:12 pm -
I’ll need a few more for the kids.
~Patrick +7
10.01.09 at 11:30 pm -
I gotta feeling
~Yeah --3
10.06.09 at 8:07 am -
america youre next
~dudd +0
10.16.09 at 4:30 pm -
yeah bitches I`m so much better as Mr.T!!!
~_godsmack --3
10.16.09 at 11:33 pm -
Yess, my own, my preciousss…
~Boozon +4
10.21.09 at 4:27 am -
where the fuck is my hat?
~Sma +0
10.28.09 at 12:58 pm -
You sure this is the same shit Hitler wore? cause he da man yo!
~Rogue --5
11.04.09 at 7:43 pm -
Yo Bitch let us fuck next Weekend for this bling bling
!!!I’m your Dream in Jeans!!!~Leava --3
11.05.09 at 5:56 pm -
You know what the difference between you and me is?
I make this look gooood.
~Casey +3
12.07.09 at 3:03 am -
Various of guys write about this issue but you wrote down some true words.
~bosiltefolley --2
12.09.09 at 4:41 pm -
yeah man! try this around your neck, when you don´t fall down because of the heavy wight, you know you are a real man!
~Laura +1
01.01.10 at 4:59 pm -
I like Bling Bling, baby!!!
~My +1
01.21.10 at 2:13 pm -
who cares if we fire all the doctors…
~jfk +1
01.29.10 at 6:05 pm -
Im a mother fuckin P.I.M.P bitch!
~Theo --1
02.04.10 at 1:58 pm -
yeah yeah cool stuff but i would prefer oil nega’…
~coman12 +1
02.04.10 at 8:37 pm -
now i’ve passed the test killing those guys i’m finaly in the gang =)
~coman12 --1
02.04.10 at 8:38 pm -
You are king of petrol! But I m king of peace.
~lapompa --1
02.05.10 at 8:39 am -
And I won what actually?
~Saru +0
02.05.10 at 9:38 am -
Who’s the president now,bitches?
~Mezo +0
02.26.10 at 5:11 pm
Leave a Reply - English Only, Please
May 23rd, 2009
They’re not supposed to admit this, right???
May 15th, 2009
The Cleverest Responses (87)
-
Die, baboon.
~Seb +22
05.15.09 at 9:04 am -
Is it fling poo; then shoot? Or shoot; then fling poo? I can’t remember….
~Anthony +12
05.15.09 at 9:25 am -
No one makes fun of my yellow banana suit.
~DaveyBridges +13
05.15.09 at 9:26 am -
WHO.. TOUCHED .. MY.. HAT!
~jaug1337 --14
05.15.09 at 2:10 pm -
Yipee Ki Yay Mother Fucker
~Shamwowticus --15
05.16.09 at 1:45 pm -
Well, the new weapon works, but with one small unfortunate side effect…
~Len --10
05.17.09 at 11:33 am -
Bet those bastard zoo keepers will get a pretty nice surprise when they see this.
~JAC +2
05.17.09 at 2:15 pm -
My FBI-colleagues had right.
I’m looking like a monkey in this banana suit.~Iris +16
05.18.09 at 2:49 am -
Yo! Respect, man!
~kdavison --13
05.18.09 at 9:12 am -
Men in Grey/Black rulez
~Lucky --19
05.18.09 at 2:30 pm -
You think the yellow suit is too much?
~Roxana --11
05.19.09 at 3:55 am -
The Kansas School Board sleeps with the fishes.
~Jeff --6
05.19.09 at 12:26 pm -
Next time someone comes over with a new hairdo, I’ll be prepared for police presence.
~Liz is a WHORE. --14
05.19.09 at 3:52 pm -
something must be wrong here… hmm
~a loser --12
05.19.09 at 4:55 pm -
Now I’m The King of The Swingers ooooo The Jungle V.I.P…
~Him --11
05.19.09 at 5:05 pm -
i should have done this instead of running for president twice…
~gwb +29
05.20.09 at 3:48 pm -
That’s weird… shooting on the left… smoke coming out on the right.
~Niels +0
05.21.09 at 10:24 am -
This is why I have opposable thumbs, motherfucker!
~William +1
05.21.09 at 11:15 am -
Left hand: loaded, right hand: cocked.
~William --9
05.21.09 at 11:16 am -
i missed… i aimed for the arm but unfortunatly for him… it must have curved and hit him in the head.
~Andrew --10
05.21.09 at 7:35 pm -
Monkey Business
~Anonymous --1
05.22.09 at 7:19 am -
My name is Bonzo; James Bonzo
~silexmt +22
05.22.09 at 10:49 pm -
Evolve OR Die
~KK +22
05.24.09 at 11:56 am -
You Can’t Handle the Truth!
~KK --4
05.24.09 at 11:57 am -
Ah! What’s the Point!
~KK --8
05.24.09 at 12:03 pm -
“My name is Banana … Monkey Banana” … and now i need a bananasplitt!
~Romeo1989 --16
05.25.09 at 5:01 am -
Damn…I forgot what I wanted to say???
~gamerpate --12
05.25.09 at 8:37 am -
fghvb vbhfghf
~Anonymous --18
05.25.09 at 1:27 pm -
yo! who took my banana ???
~sis --1
05.25.09 at 9:52 pm -
i missed… i aimed for the arm but unfortunatly for him… it must have curved and hit him in the head.
~PB --8
05.27.09 at 4:41 am -
Guess you didn’t see that coming…
~nino --5
05.27.09 at 8:58 am -
I said I don’t like fucking bananas
~Anonymous --5
05.31.09 at 10:02 am -
A banana yellow suit….. Brilliant!
~scott D --3
05.31.09 at 8:41 pm -
And they said I was too old for another Dirty Harry movie!
~John Cocktoasten +3
06.01.09 at 4:38 pm -
What does Marcellus Wallace look like?
~Blake --5
06.02.09 at 1:10 am -
“Unfinished business”
~Anonymous +0
06.03.09 at 4:39 pm -
Time to kill my mother for dressing me like this for too many years…
~Christian Kragh +0
06.05.09 at 3:18 am -
Monkey face…? Who’s got monkey face, puta?
~Grekus Pekus --1
06.13.09 at 12:29 pm -
“Evolution…” Charles Darvin
~Michael Jackson Lilboylover +15
06.13.09 at 12:30 pm -
What would say my mom and dad….
~Kilo +0
06.13.09 at 12:30 pm -
Like a girl in a car…!!!
~Grek +0
06.13.09 at 12:31 pm -
fuck my mozg!!!
~crack +6
06.14.09 at 12:31 pm -
Trusting men in suits?
~NoahSan +0
06.15.09 at 5:04 am -
wow this micheal jackson mask fits so well!
~kizz --1
06.18.09 at 3:34 am -
Do my ears look big in this suit?
~Kieren +1
06.19.09 at 3:44 pm -
Did I leave the iron on?
~gary +0
06.30.09 at 9:20 am -
this is driving me bananas
~luizinho +5
07.05.09 at 1:22 pm -
Everybody be cool, this is a robbery! Any of you fucking pricks move, and I’ll execute every motherfucking last one of you!
~samuel --1
07.06.09 at 10:57 am -
Human think this suite would be funny. I can´t take this anymore..
~Anonymous +0
07.07.09 at 4:00 am -
this is a weird banana
~me +0
07.08.09 at 11:00 am -
Say ‘what’ again. Say what one more motherfuckin time
~James +9
07.08.09 at 1:16 pm -
…when I lay my vengeance upon thee!
~Anonymous +0
07.21.09 at 11:47 am -
Tarzan can KISS MY ASS!
~George DelGiorno +9
07.26.09 at 8:14 pm -
Luigi, one turns not against family!
~rst +2
07.27.09 at 7:47 am -
I think it’s time for another Revolution!
~Bassel +0
07.29.09 at 8:25 am -
I’m looking for my cousin George and the guy who stole my fucking HAT!
~rljack +1
07.31.09 at 2:38 pm -
Dont laught cause my yellow dress, bitch
~danny +0
08.04.09 at 11:16 am -
I know MJ was a man of peace, but when I catch the fucker that killed him, I will blast him with my kind of piece.
~swildermann +1
08.05.09 at 9:49 am -
Mmmmmmah, you dirty rat!
~fuzzy +0
08.15.09 at 9:00 pm -
Vernita Green , Oren-Ishii , Elle Driver , Budd : clear . Now Bill it’s your turn !
~The Towell +0
08.23.09 at 5:26 pm -
I’ve had it with these motherf–king snakes on this motherf–king plane!
~Samuel --1
08.25.09 at 10:17 am -
Did he shoot five or six bullits? Errr… do I feel lucky? Does this yellow suit really makes me look like a punk?
~V!NCENT --2
08.29.09 at 1:42 pm -
what the fuck is that?????
~tk --1
09.14.09 at 7:12 am -
now call me mr. Barack Obama
~nig --2
10.06.09 at 7:04 am -
the time has come…
~Anonymous --2
10.25.09 at 7:24 am -
Ohh My Goddness why I’m here
~Leava --1
11.05.09 at 5:59 pm -
Hasta la Vista…baboon?
~Eric --2
11.06.09 at 10:06 pm -
Hello? Is this thing on?
~koomak --1
11.06.09 at 10:12 pm -
Hello? Is this thing on?
BANG!~koomak --1
11.06.09 at 10:13 pm -
Die motherfucker
~american --1
11.15.09 at 3:14 am -
Now..do the banana dance!!
~Elina +2
11.28.09 at 1:08 pm -
who is barak obama…
~Salvador +0
12.05.09 at 5:02 pm -
I’m so gogeous wearing in yellow!
~Tino +0
12.29.09 at 6:06 am -
All right enough with the monkey buisness
~Comedian --1
01.09.10 at 4:22 pm -
This bull sh*t ends now
~ChuckNorris --1
02.02.10 at 6:39 pm -
Get this suit off me you darn dirty apes.
~ChuckNorris +0
02.02.10 at 6:40 pm -
d’oh.
~Leomen --1
02.04.10 at 2:05 pm -
there’s to type of monkey, the one with a gun & the one who gets to brings back banana.. u go for banana!
~coman12 --1
02.04.10 at 8:41 pm -
what mama would think of that job? i should have become a scientist like my bro..
~coman12 +0
02.04.10 at 8:44 pm -
Who is the mother fucker who’s say that I’ve fucking big ears?
~lapompa +0
02.05.10 at 8:40 am -
Are you talkin’ to me?
~Anonymous +0
02.09.10 at 11:02 pm -
Banana suit up ! It’s goin to be legen … wait for it …
~Naira +0
02.18.10 at 12:45 pm -
this monkey is similar to Morgan Freeman
~andrew +0
02.23.10 at 3:13 am -
“Yeah see, Monkeyface McGee aint playing around no more, see.”
~Anonymous +0
02.24.10 at 12:08 pm -
you got ten seconds before i shot you…one….two…ten!
~majk +0
02.26.10 at 5:04 pm -
DID YOU SEE ME?
~Rafael Nogueira +0
02.28.10 at 5:06 pm -
Say hello to my little friend.
~Anonymous +0
03.05.10 at 3:16 pm
Leave a Reply - English Only, Please
May 14th, 2009
I don’t always do impersonations, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis.
May 11th, 2009
So now Google thinks I’m a malicious website and is blocking some visitors. I may be guilty of posting unfunny things and letting the site languish for weeks on end, but I’m no spammer or spyware hosting-person. Anywho, I’m taking steps to resolve this. Thanks for your support, my minions…
“I’m shrinking!” “Proof?” “Yes, right here on my iPhone”.
01.31.10 at 11:55 pm
Hey- dipshit hipster guy from the Palm Pre announcement. Yeah, you, ya douche. Get a load of THIS.
02.01.10 at 12:52 am
Look! The iPod Touch just got bigger, and so did my eyes!
02.01.10 at 5:18 am
“… and this is what happens when you use the iPad to divide by zero.”
02.01.10 at 9:09 am
hey ppffflaghhh blah blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhfff
02.01.10 at 12:49 pm
Here you can see our three revolutionary devices, one from past, one from today and the iClocks.
02.01.10 at 1:32 pm
Holy crap! Have you ever held two mirrors up to each other? It like, parallels into infinity, man! This is so awesome! I AM SO HIGH!
02.01.10 at 4:04 pm
iPad. Now with Time Machine.
02.01.10 at 5:52 pm
… … … … iPad MEMORY SYNC COMPLETE. HUMAN NEUTRALIZED.
02.02.10 at 9:55 am
Look what i just made for you, mom !
02.03.10 at 11:19 am
This is unbelievable.
This is how we think different.
This will be the best experience you’ll ever have.
This is our new product that we have been working on for decades, and this is called :
iPad
iP(lease you)a(ll to give us your pretty)dollars.
02.03.10 at 4:16 pm
cmd z!
02.04.10 at 3:33 pm
The latest from Apple Russia:
iMatryoshka!
(aka: iRussian Nesting Doll)
02.04.10 at 3:45 pm
iClone iClone iClone…
02.04.10 at 3:49 pm
am i that abyssal dumb?
02.04.10 at 8:33 pm
My ipad doesn’t have wing but it can capture all my inhibitions !
02.07.10 at 10:28 am
…and I can do this… even *without* a built-in camera!
02.07.10 at 4:07 pm
Look at this Dude !
How deep do you think it is ?!
02.08.10 at 8:35 am
Those are definitly not my hands.
02.08.10 at 3:30 pm
did you notice I’m married ? … no ?…. oh you were looking at the ipad… of course… story of my life
02.09.10 at 5:32 pm
You’re feeling veeeeeeeery tired…
You’re falling asleep…
Your looking at it
Yes, keep looking at it…
02.10.10 at 11:07 am
Well, this little spatio-temporal vertex bug will be fixed in version 2.0
02.14.10 at 10:45 am
cmd c
cmd v
cmd v
02.14.10 at 5:27 pm
hm.,,,, o, its me :D
02.15.10 at 2:23 pm
lol
02.16.10 at 11:39 am
lol
It is so strange)
But I hope thet it have no great idea
02.16.10 at 11:40 am
iEgo
02.16.10 at 1:52 pm
iMirror 2.0
02.16.10 at 1:57 pm
iMe
02.16.10 at 1:57 pm
…as you can see here… all new iPads come with the application Narcissism 3.0…
*Warning: Narcissism 3.0 is only compatible with technology beginning with the letter i.
02.16.10 at 2:06 pm
I made it from my own image…
02.16.10 at 2:11 pm
At Apple, we know you love you!
02.16.10 at 2:16 pm
iPad, technology that connects with the real you!
02.16.10 at 2:17 pm
…For those who want it all… Apple offers the iPod, the iPhone, and iPad, all in one!
(just like the turducken!)
02.16.10 at 2:23 pm
iRabbit Hole
Follow meeeeeeeeeee…..
02.16.10 at 2:24 pm
i don’t think you are taking us seriously…
02.16.10 at 2:27 pm
We’re here for the Max Headroom audition…
02.16.10 at 2:30 pm
…and once all your data is uploaded to the iPad… your body can be disposed of using the built-in cryogenics app.
02.16.10 at 2:44 pm
That would make more videos.
03.06.10 at 3:40 am
Yes, look like 2 mirrors, but is easy make this with Photoshop. very nice effect…
Think different. Think with your head!
03.14.10 at 3:51 am